For most all of my life the 4th of July has been filled with luncheons, picnics, BBQ’s, camping, boating, family, lots of lots of organizing and coordinating and preparation and spending money on food, fireworks, fees to enter State and National Parks, clothing for the occasion or activities, etc. Just plan Busy Work and lots of it. Surrounded by family, friends and their families and now it is Just Me. I am learning to integrate into Just Me.
This year was different, very different. Part of Learning to Be Just Me, is not having to surround myself with people. Learning to be comfortable and confident in just being in the moment observing, not necessarily participating. I am becoming more and more comfortable with Just Me. And I think I can like this journey. The process of integration is one I am consciously working on in this new location of Utah’s Color Country.
I will on occasion have the thought that maybe it is time to start dating and getting myself, “out there”, then I remind myself that I am on a journey here, to learn who I am and want to be. If I involve someone (s) else into that journey, it may have an influence, and I want to learn all about being Just Me for a bit longer.
So, I made a plan to go and watch all the families celebrate the 4th of July like only a small town can. There was a pie eating contest, water melon seed spitting contest, gunny sack and 3 legged race’s. The Waffle Love truck was present, so I indulged. (Hey! Don’t judge me, it was my 1st time and likely last time) There were parents watching, and not watching (you know the ones) their small ones playing in the water features and in the grass of the park.
I attended a concert of music from my teen years, Exile and Juice Newton at the local University. It was Great! And I have learned that scoring great seats for last minute attendance to events like this is easy when it is Just Me. (1 please!) Then I pulled up a couple blocks away and set up a soccer chair and waited for the fireworks. St. George puts on a show with three different locations of shooting off the fireworks into the sky over the valley. It was a spectacular day and I did little to no spending and definitely no work. I think that I can appreciate small town celebrations like this for now, days just like this for now.