There is a lot of differing opinions out there on the World Wide Web about True Happiness. And whether or not you can actually create it, by choosing it, instead of gloom & doom. I am of the fervent opinion that even if I don’t ‘feel the happy all the way to my soul’ that I would rather be in a ‘state of happy’ than the alternative.

Many years ago, I think it was around 2012, I had a dream or revelation that came so powerfully to my mind during a dead sleep that it awoke me and I responded by getting to my computer to record all of it. From 2:30 am to 7:30 am I typed away on my screen all that it outlined for me. I put it away that day and would revisit it many times over the coming months to add to it. Eventually, it became a book and workshop for people that are in toxic relationships or having a crisis of life happening to them with guidance to get through it. No, I am not a counselor, life coach, trained and educated professional…just an observer of my life and those that cross my path during the journey.

This revelation and the time I put into pondering it, was my salvation years later when a major life crisis became my reality. My world was imploded, decimated when my husband and partner of 35 years chose to take his life and destroy our family. His objective was to destroy me. But because heaven had intervened all those years before and the night before, I was able to turn into the mythical Phoenix and rise from the ashes.

This very same blog and website became part of the rise for me. So many people came into my life, angels truly, that were all to be a part of that reconstruction. I state again that I am a firm believer that you can create what you want your life to be. I want to have a happy life and I am on the journey to create one that I feel all the way to my bones.

Here are my understandings and truths of Choosing to Come Into a Life of Thriving. (true happiness)

There are stages you will pass through (or get stuck in, if you don’t choose to move through) during a crisis of life.

  1. Zombie – you are numb. Just going through the motions of living without really living, planning, or breathing. Afraid to do more than just get up, breath ( without really breathing ), eat (occasionally, and without any real thought to what and how often), bath (as required to not be repulsive), show up where necessary, deny the horrible state you are actually in.
  2. Denial – You are living in a state of denial that you have made choices that have created this so called life you are living in.
  3. Look Back – You will need to look back to discover how you got to where you are. It will likely be very painful and that is okay, feel the pain, be vulnerable to the emotions. You can blame others, yourself, but do not linger her in that state of mind. It is toxic to blame. Be accountable, but use it to be a motivator to move on.
  4. Be a Survivor – Choose to be a survivor, relish in that fact that you survived, with the scars and lessons learned. Again, don’t linger her in this place for long…because staying here keeps you shackled to the past. And to be truly happy, you can visit this place, but not stay.
  5. Choose to be a Thrivor/Thriver –  To be a truly happy person you need to focus hourly, daily, for the long haul, to be happy. Do things that make you happy, create happiness. Self-respect, Self-preservation and Self-love are a cognizant choice.


Here are some tiups from a dear friend and co-worker of mine on her journey towards this type of a happy life:

What the hell is that?


Huffington Post has 8 tips by one of their Senior Writers on how to create a Happy Life:


And from Web MD here are their 7 tips to being happy:


Let me wrap up with my all time favorite reference regarding Happiness and a Healthy Happy Relationship/Marriage

(Who knew that the Fresh Prince of Bel Air would grow up to be such a wise relationship and accountability life coach? Not me..that is for sure! But love his videos, I do!)

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