A husband and a wife are in a canoe. He is an excellent sailor and she a navigator. She looks at the compass with a quizzical look, then to the sun, and back again to the compass. She declares, “The sun is in the wrong place.”
Sometimes our belief system is that the Universe is wrong and we are right. Just as she believed that the sun was wrong and she was right; sometimes, when things don’t work out as we wanted them to, we look for blame outside ourselves.
It has been nearly 6 years since I wrote the original version of a book. Much has happened to me since that time. I truly believe that a force outside of this world was preparing me for one of the greatest challenges I was to face and some of the most heart wrenching choices I needed to make.
This book, writing it out and researching to compile the thoughts , examples and principals were the tools that I used to get me through the darkest of days.
I know complete destruction. I know the feeling of being completely alone and heartbroken.
I have a more humble appreciation and understanding for abusive relationships and those who choose to remain in them.
Mastering something is not continuing to do it wrong. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. If I continue to do something wrong, it will always be wrong. Doing it more often or faster, or slower, or more consistent or better only makes me better at doing it wrong. Learning how to do what doesn’t work, doesn’t work.
The sun is never going to be in the wrong place.
“Often it’s the deepest pain that empowers you to grow into your highest self.” –Karen Salmonsohn-
I had to go out and explore this vast beautiful planet of ours to discover and create new passion and reasons to Thrive.
“Our passions are the true phoenixes; when the old one is burnt out, a new one rises from its ashes.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Life’s experiences, trials, struggles and disappointments can help us become stronger and better if we know the steps, and acquire the behavior traits, that will help us move through them to THRIVE; no matter where, or what we have come at us in life.
Here are the stages I have learned that apply to each of us when tragedy, trials, or extreme challenges happen in our lives; Zombie, Victim, Survivor, Thrivor
Zombie: Some days, Enabling Power is the very real strength to just get your sorry butt out of bed, take a shower, brush your hair and teeth, make something healthy to eat, and chew it, then swallow.
Those of you, who have experienced really dark days, know this to be true. Chewing food can be exhausting and very deliberate. Swallowing can be such a difficult task. You actually do battle with the demon or gremlin in your head to the point where you vocally are telling yourself to “chew, now swallow. Good, now do it again, you must eat to gain your strength. You cannot let this go on another day. Now focus, chew.” This is when we need to Look Up!
We Look Up to a higher power and source of strength. We Look Up to find direction, comfort, the very real salve to heal our open oozing wounds. To Look Up is to admit that we cannot do it alone, nor are we meant to.
Victim: Some events, trauma, disease, accidents in our life makes us a Victim because it is not within our control. Some change, evil or hardship is forced upon us against our will. This creates a Victim. Accepting this and taking it upon you, making it apart of you is necessary, if you don’t accept that this is now in your description of who you are, you will be fractured at your foundation and be susceptible to crumbling apart. Many people however, choose to stay in this place, shackled at this place in time, unable to move out of it. They let it consume them and become their only identity.
Survivors Stand up/Sit up, Breath Deep, Square Their Shoulders, lift their chins, set their sights on a goal in front of them and move out of the darkness towards the light. They Look Out. They Look Forward. They do not succumb to victim-hood.
Thrive is a place where you not only accept what happened, but you are grateful for it. You can say, with all honesty and belief, “I am grateful for this experience and what I have learned. How I have positively developed. It has not been what I thought I wanted. It is not what I would have asked for, but it none the less it is a part of me, and I love me. I understand me, and know that I still have a long journey ahead of me to get to where I am expected and want to be, but I am good with the progress so far. I wouldn’t change a thing. I look forward to more changes, because I get to control the experience by the choices of attitude I make and thus the result will be successful.”
This is where you Thrive.
In the book, Kitchen Table Wisdom by Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen,
she gives some wisdom I agree with,
“Life is the ultimate teacher, but it is usually through experience and not scientific research that we discover its deeper lessons. We are all here for a single purpose: to grow in wisdom and learn to love. We can do this through losing as well as through winning, by having and by not having, by succeeding or by failing. All we need to do is to show up openhearted for class….So fulfilling life’s purpose may depend more on how we play, than what we are dealt. You have to be present to win.”
Choose a life that is focused on the gift of each day, the light you have within you that is just waiting to be shared with others.
Be joyous. Live a Beautiful Life of Choice. Choose light over living in the dark.
Abundance is inside of you, just waiting for you to nurture it. Bring it forth from the ashes of what remains of you.
If need be, let your life burn to ashes. Rise from the ashes like a Phoenix.
Do it as many times as you may need to, for some of us it may be more than once.
We just do it because the other option is not fathomable.
Annie Besant, “Never forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle.”